Starting a conversation
The easiest message to answer is one about something on the other person’s profile. Here is our own approach, with openers you can adapt.
Three rules
- Mention something specific from their profile.
- Ask one open question, not three.
- Keep it short enough to answer in one go.
Openers to adapt
- “You hiked Angels Landing? I have been building up the nerve. Worth it?”
- “Your answer about the best taco in town is a bold claim. Where is it?”
- “Okay, I need to know the story behind the photo with the goat.”
- “Same, I am also a terrible but enthusiastic bowler. What is your best score?”
When to slow down
- If someone pushes to move the chat to another app right away, or asks for money, see romance scam warning signs.
- Before meeting, a short phone or video call is a good next step; see the first date safety checklist.
Our own advice, not based on any app's data. Last reviewed October 25, 2026.